The Homework Scandal
by Yi Gabriev
Summary: Something from an RP;And yes, I was the Edward in it. Even though I think it's lame Lina loves it... so I'm doing this for her.


Edward lay on her belly, hands glued to her sides, staring foreward. She didn't move at all;she resembled a bar of lead laying like that. "Er...what's she doing?" Zarbon asked the increasingly annoyed Lina. 

"Oh...she thinks that if she stays like that long enough she'll turn into a 'Magic Psycho Evil Flaming Yak Statue'" the magical demon-girl told him, quoting the little redhead. 

"You'd better not let Master Frieza see her doing that..." Zarbon said, looking at Edward in something like pity. "He's going to have our heads on a platter if she gets a stiff neck or, something..." 

"The flaming Yak, yak, yak yak yak! Should he ask to dance with you say NO! No, no no no!" Ed started to let her body tilt back and forth in tune with her favourite little song. Lina gave Zarbon a "Humour her, she's clinically insane" look. 

Lina scooped her little sister up in her arms and started singing with her--"Oh, that flaming Yak! Yak, yak yak yak! He came from Switzlerland, Switzlerland, Switzlerland Switzlerland Switzlerland!" they sang together. Zarbon looked at them in amusement. Lina wasn't much more mature then her Thirteen-year-old sister, no matter what she acted like. 

When she heard a cough, Lina spun around with Ed's arms around her neck, dangling from the sorceress's powerful grip. Frieza grinned and held out his hand, making Edward jump out to him. Her arms flew around his waist and she squealed "Sir Popsicle!" 

Lina giggled at Edward's little name for Frieza and curtsied as daintily as she knew how, nearly bringing down poor Zarbon when her ankle hit his. 

"Edward, dear, did you do your homework?" Frieza's question brought silence. Ed pulled away and stared at him. Her eyes grew wide and she twitched. "She was playing with Buu last weekend..." Lina whispered to the oblivious Zarbon. 

There was a burst of dust and shrieks as Edward ran off. Frieza flew after her, screaming "GET BACK HERE, YOUNG LADY!!!" Edward payed no heed and she stampeded around with Frieza at her heels. Lina grinned as she noticed the change in Frieza's personality since he started to be with Ed--he was much more patient, he didn't enjoy killing as much, and he didn't insist on Edward calling him Master or Lord--which she didn't. 

"IF YOU DON'T DO YOUR SCHOOLING, YOU'LL BECOME A DUMB SLUT!! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT!?? IS IT, EDWARD!???" Ed's only reply was to scream, on top of her lungs, "MAGIC MUSHROOMS!!!!!!!!!"   
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"And then, I want a seven page report on the importance of respecting your elders and. . ." Frieza went on and on to Ed, who was so absorbed in her toes that she didn't even listen. 

"She expects to find an eleventh toe, hmm?" Lina pointed out to Zarbon, who was watching his Lord preach his "child" about intellegence work. 

"Edward, dear, come and let Zarbon braid your hair." Zarbon shuddered under the look of hatred that Frieza shot him, but stood his ground as he bowed his head and said "Sir, she can still listen to you . . ." Frieza looked annoyed but grunted his consent. Edward crawled to Zarbon on all fours and jumped up in front of him, grinning that cute little innocent grin she always saved for him. 

Taking Edward's favourite and only brush from Lina (one with a little dog on the handle), Zarbon dragged it through her tangled mass of fiery orange hair on top of Ed's head. He grinned and noticed how long it was when it was properly brushed--down past her shoulders. 

"Now, Ed, you see? The seventh equation is towards the ninth of the thirteenth square of the...Are you listening to me??" Ed gave no reply as she studied the design of the tiled floors and held as still as possible for her "Father". 

"Edward!" Frieza snapped. 

"What?" 

"Your schoolwork!" 

"What about it?" 

"AUGH!!!" Frieza threw his arms up in frusteration and Lina instinctively threw her arms around her baby sister. Ed was much stronger then she appeared, she could take a pretty heavy ki blast, and Frieza knew it. If he did, then Ed would want to be strong like him, but she would be awfully hurt, and she would become a tyrant like him, and blah, blah, blah. 

"Edward will do her homework. Tomorrow." 

"No, you will do it NOW!" 

"But, Sir Popsicle . . ." Frieza cut her off by slamming his three-toed foot into the ground. The concrete and tiles under him cracked and a good deal of debris flew out. Ed gulped and took her goggles in one hand, put in her mouth, and chewed on them. Lina recognized this act immediatly--Ed did the same thing whenever she broke her ankle, right before she started weeping. 

"Do your WORK, Edward!" Frieza snapped, tapping Ed's bottom with the palm of his hand. Although it didn't hurt, Ed hated it when her Lord did that to her--it was like being rejected. She got up and walked quietly into a corner, another sign she was sad--she usually either crawled or skipped, or maybe ran if it was a long enough distance. 

Lina sighed and snatched the brush back from the silent Zarbon, who was looking at Ed a little sadly.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It didn't take the happy little hacker more then five minutes to get over her slump, and soon she was bouncing around Frieza again and listening to his speech. "E goes to Y!" she chirruped when Frieza tried to explain Einstein's theory to her. "E goes to Y to the THIRD!!!! Magic Mushrooms!" 

"Now, if the thirtieth was squared three times--" 

"It would be a shame!" Ed interupted. 

Frieza sighed and held back his increasing frusteration. "Edward, I could hire a private tuitor to teach you instead of taking it upon myself to teach you these things. Would you like that? Cramped up in a tiny room with a man you hardly know?" 

"No . . . ." 

"Then hush and listen!" Frieza yelled, his feminine-yet-husky voice getting closed to yelling. 

Ed sighed and gave in, bending over her schoolpapers with a pen behind her ear, a mechanical pencil between her teeth, and a Number Two held like a dagger in her hand as she wrote equation after equation. Lina watched as her beloved baby sister dragged on and on as if she were a convicted murderer on the way to the electric chair. 

"How do you spell 'X'"? Ed asked. 

Frieza's only reply was a scream of horrified exasperation as he stomped out of the room.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Edward!!!" Zarbon yelled as he chased the little thing down the corridor. Sopping wet and naked, Ed ran along, giggling madly. 

"If you want Ed to take her bath, Zarzar must catch her!" Edward squealed as the pounding of her little feet resounded in the empty hall. When her hair was watered down, it reached almost to her butt, which comforted Zarbon a tiny bit--with all those red curls flashing over her there was even less likely a chance of a guard seeing her. 

Ed kept right on running into Frieza's personal quarters, unworried in the Lord's fondness for her. Zarbon skidded to a stop, not daring to go in without permission. He gulped--what was worse, facing the wrath of the Lord or having his little girl run around naked in his quarters? Embaressment or injury? 

It answered itself when their came a horrified scream and a cute giggle from inside. There was a second of silence before Frieza came out, holding Ed wrapped up in a blanket so tightly it was like a straight jacket. 

"Ed, if you don't take your bath with er, 'Zarzar', you will have to do your homework." 

Ed gave a terrified cry, dropped the towel, and went barreling for the bathroom. Zarbon smiled appreicatively at his master, scooped up the towel, and went after the redheaded Demon Child.   
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Edward sat with both her feet behind her head, staring at the blank piece of paper in perplexity. "Edward doesn't get it..." she mumbled, staring down at the history book in front of her. 

"Oh, Ed, it's very easy! You see, Columbus knew that the world WASN'T flat, and he tried to sail around it, see?" 

"So he fell off?" 

"NO!! He made it. Well..he made it half-way, anyway." 

"Right. He made it until he fell off the edge." 

Lina twitched and grated her teeth. Her little sister was a pain in the ass! She honestly didn't know how she got caught with such an ignorant little runt. Chuckling to herself, she realized that she was probably alot more ignorant then Ed--she was a wanted genius hacker, afterall. Feeling a tiny bit more patient, the sorcerer forced herself to explain. 

"The world is like an orange. It's--" 

"A fruit?" 

"No! It's round. And Columbus wanted to prove that. 

"Why?" 

"Because everyone thought it was flat. 

"Well, it is." 

"No it isn't!" 

"So, then, why did he have to prove it?" 

"AAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!" Lina screamed as she tore at her hair. Losing all patience, she Dragon-Slaved the west wall out. Stamping out, breathing heavily, she left Ed to her room. 

"Right." Edward said, and settled down at Tomato. 

"Now, then, the twelth dimension is a concept that warps the Space-time Continuum into an uncontrollable void that . . ." 

**THE END**


End file.
